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The Chinese Game (15/08/09)
Prawn Satay was the dish of choice for Parker this week, but Grampus Satay-round scratching his head for ages before guessing it! Parker says: do you know what its time for now? Grampus says: The chinese game? Parker says: obso-exact-lutely-ly Grampus says: I cannot meet this! Parker says: what? Grampus says: I meant "wait" for this Get on with it Parker says: i see well you ask questions and i will answer with yes or no Grampus says: how are you? Parker says: no Grampus says: oh did you have a chinese tonight? Parker says: yes Grampus says: what was it? Parker says: it was- hey hang on a minute! heh heh Grampus says: heh heh! nearly Parker says: heh heh Grampus says: was it a two-part meal? or just the one dish? Parker says: yes Grampus says: oh two part? Parker says: yes a one-part meal Grampus says: oh you fitted it all in one bowl did you have it in a bowl? Parker says: yes Grampus says: rice? Parker says: no Grampus says: noodles? Parker says: no you could have it with rice, but the chinese i bought it from serves rice separately and i decided that today i was just interested in the main part so no rice Grampus says: so just the main thing Parker says: yes Grampus says: meat? Parker says: no Grampus says: chickrn! Parker says: no Grampus says: crispy fucking fish Parker says: but from now on i will class meat and poultry as separate, JUST to keep you happy crispy fish? no Grampus says: ooooh nadgers, that's me buggered no meat at all? vegetables in oyster sauce Parker says: it wasnt vegetarian either Grampus says: fish Parker says: no Grampus says: oh prawns Parker says: yes, well done pats head Grampus says: that's fish for fucks sake Parker says: no hang on a fucking second if youre not counting chicken as meat then prawns arent fish either Grampus says: do they live in the water? YES fish Parker says: do chickens live on land? YES Grampus says: this is intolerable Parker says: you can swivel on it Grampus says: what have CHICKENS got to do with it? Parker says: if we're using the Grampus method of being really picky and precise about everything then prawns arent fish, theyre seafood Grampus says: You are an idiot, prawns are fish, chickens are not meat. Parker says: theyre a completely different branch of the animal kingdom. fish are fish, seafood are molluscs and crustaceans Grampus says: is cod seafood? Parker says: yes, cod is seafood Grampus says: yes well then prawns are seafood Parker says: yes, they are but theyre not fish Grampus says: fish you might say Parker says: theyre not fish, not in any stretch of the word Grampus says: molI CANNOT believe you have brought moluscs into this they are snails Parker says: mussels, cockles, etc are molluscs Grampus says: yes prawns are not Parker says: theyre curstaceans Grampus says: so not mollusvs then? Parker says: no Grampus says: ok Parker says: so come on, lets play you know its prawn, now comes the tricky part Grampus says: prawns in blavk bean sauce! Parker says: no Grampus says: CHILLI SAUCE! kung fu sauce Parker says: no i will give you a clue it wasnt a hot dish Grampus says: oyster sauce? Parker says: no, although i am a fan of oyster sauce just in case you were interested Grampus says: CLUE PLEASE Parker says: i believe this dish is southeast asian in origin indonesia or malaysia Grampus says: is it a comon dish? Parker says: yes, quite a popular one id say Grampus says: has it got cocnut in it? Parker says: no Grampus says: good mild you say Parker says: yes, you could certainly feed this to a baby without worrying about it dying Grampus says: a low salt content then, this is a thinker. Parker says: no stop being annoying Grampus says: Prawn Madras Parker says: i said you could feed it to a baby's face because it wasnt hot, thats all nothing to do with fucking salt Grampus says: salt off Parker says: madras is indian isnt it? Grampus says: no, malaysian is it that? Parker says: seeing as madras is a place in india im guessing its an indian curry dish Grampus says: Prawn Malaysian Parker says: youve got the first word right! heh heh Grampus says: Prawn Parker says: bingo Grampus says: YES! 8-0 m me Parker says: thats the first word, but you havent got the second word Grampus says: Prawn delight Parker says: no, come on second word is two syllables Grampus says: dhansak no that's otalian er, foo yung? Parker says: no, but a good guess come on, youre getting there Grampus says: is it basically a sacue? Parker says: basically yes Grampus says: mild sauce I don't knoe Parker says: it begins with S Grampus says: Sweet and sour Parker says: IS THAT TWO SYLLABLES? Grampus says: swour sw our I fucking give up Parker says: begins with S and is two syllables Grampus says: shit hot half two sheng fui don't kno Parker says: five letters Grampus says: which word? Parker says: are you taking the piss? Grampus says: no I'm really stuck Parker says: s - - - - if i tell you the last letter youll get it easily Grampus says: e Parker says: y Grampus says: souey Parker says: no Grampus says: sally Parker says: close Grampus says: sorry sueyy# Parker says: no, it wasnt right when you guess it just now, its still not right now Grampus says: give up this has been the WORST episode of this game EVER Parker says: sa--y Grampus says: fucking stay satay bah Parker says: yes well done now swivel on it